This post mentions mental health. If you are in crisis or need support in any way — text 988 with “I need help” or visit 988lifeline.org. It’s free, confidential, and anonymous.
Additional resources:
McLean Hospital + resources
First of all, I’m not a clinician.
I’m not in education.
I’m not a consultant/coach for either as well.
I’m not a lot of things.
However, I do know this:
It’s okay to not be okay.
We all, every single one of us, struggle at times with failure. The actual act of failing something or simply feeling like we failed something.
Social media likes to showcase people’s successes but don’t let that fool you. Despite our best efforts, we all fail. Every one of us. Hard. And it’s tough.
In my house, I watched my son struggle under the weight of his failure to read. His trying harder only made his failure BIGGER. It wore away at him swiftly and dramatically, taking a toll on him and our entire family.
It was layered in a way many people likely will never understand. That is what it is.
Today, things are different than they were a few years ago than when the ramifications of his failure were at its apex. Not perfect (what is?), but the trajectory tilts, thankfully, in a vastly more positive direction.
How?
We didn’t ignore the “not okay.”
That “not okay” was there. Very there. We didn’t deny it or try to position it into something it was not.
We accepted its existence. (Tip: you don’t have to like something to accept it.)
Because when you do accept a situation, what’s next can start.
For us, what’s next included assembling a team to help. However, finding those astute people didn’t happen overnight. And, yes, there was a cost as many on our team were paid professionals. But not doing would have had a different sacrifice —one we were not willing to pay.
Also, I read a lot on topics regarding the science of reading, special education rights, the amazingness of the dyslexic brain, and more. In our case, free information was readily available when I hunted. It led to understanding our form of “not okay” as well as helped my family’s ability to navigate everything in a more successful way.
Your “not okay” could be a dramatic change in your child’s behavior. An unforseen health issue. Something challenging in the world that’s affecting you. The end of a relationship you didn’t foresee. How you’re feeling when you get up in the morning. Whatever it is, please don’t put it in a box and shove it under the bed.
It might get a little too comfortable there and grow.
So repeat after me:
It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay to not be okay.
It’s okay to not be okay.
Then, take that next step.